Happy New Year?

I went out with a girlfriend who was in from out of town for New Years Eve.  We started off at a low-key house party.  About 11:30 she said she wanted to go to a bar that I happen to hate. She wanted to go there because a guy that she hooked up with once was going to be there.  

The only thing she could really remember about the guy was his name and that he had on Sponge Bob boxers when they did the deed.  She wanted to kiss someone at mid-night and I couldn't blame her.  I have been un-kissed at mid-night for the last couple years so I was o.k. with helping her satisfy her goal.  We went to the bar.  

The best way to describe this bar is the special Olympics for drinkers.  Every single person in this bar smokes.  No exceptions, they all smoke.  Most of the men have facial hair, flannel shirts and are wearing Wrangler jeans.  The women are wearing stone washed jeans, banana clips and look like 'Sun-In' is their hair product of choice.  These people actually kind of scare me.... so I stick close to my friend.  Mid-night comes, she gets her kiss.  I dance with freaks to typical New Years songs and then we went back to my house.  We set around recounting sad tales from New Years past and we went to bed.

I am o.k. with it....  This is the first year since my husband died that I didn't start the New Year thinking.  "Crap, here we go again".  So I guess that is a good sign.

BTW---

I have successfully been dodging Mickey Mouse.  A.K.A. Choir Boy.  I don't want to speak to him.   I would like to shake him from my brain like you shake a picture from an etch-a-sketch.  I know it is so childish of me not to take his calls but I am not sure what to say to him.  "Hey, that was some of the worst sex ever".  "Hey your House of Mouse creeped me out"!

I Survived Date Number Four in the House of Mouse

Holy Shit!  Set back, call your girlfriend and tell her she has got to read this!  Get a beer or a glass of wine or something because I myself need a drink just recounting it.

First, I decided that maybe the reason the choir boy hasn't tried to kiss me is that he felt there was never a good opportunity.  (I don't know)  So at some point I had asked him if he had seen the movie the "Usual Suspects", he hadn't.  I said you have to see it.  So, for the fourth date/meeting I said how about we pick up some food and watch that movie.    He agrees.  

That was morning.  What happened between morning and the evening is key to understanding my irrational actions later that evening.

I went to get my nails done.  I was setting there telling the nail lady the whole story leading up to tonight.  She insist, I must make the first move.  I put a pin in that thought as Mr. Hot Stuff walks in the room. Mr. Hot Stuff is a young waiter at a bar in town.  Mr. Hot Stuff flirts with everyone without prejudice.  He is 24, talk, dark, handsome and should have to have a license for the guns he's packing.   Anyway he walks in and I say "what are you doing here"?  He said, "I saw your car outside and thought I would come in and say Hi".  WTF!!!!!!  Really.  He knows my car?  He came in to see me?!!?  The blood started flowing to areas that had been on vacation for awhile.  I didn't know what to say, I just made small talk.  I can't even remember what we talked about except......  He said, "what are you doing tonight"? I said, "I have date #4 with a choir boy".  He asked me if this was 'the night' the choir boy would sing the high notes.....  blah blah blah... he left.   I stayed excited thinking about Mr. Hot Stuff all day.

Now time for me to go meet choir boy.   I pick up food, he picks up movie.  I also pick up wine because I am thinking I may need it because my thoughts are not rated PG.

I get to his house.  It smells old and damp.  (Not hot)  I overlook it, my mind is focused and I cannot be detoured.  We eat in the kitchen have some great conversation.  I think, wow... he really is nice.  Then I am back to thinking about Mr. Hot Stuff.

He leads the way to the T.V. room.  As he opens the double doors to the T.V. room I immediately hear screeching horror film music in my head.  (Like when the chick is getting stabbed in the shower in Physco.)

The entire room is decorated in Mickey Mouse,  YES!  Mickey Mouse.  I think "oh my god, he is either gay or a petafile".  Mickey Mouse rug, Mickey Mouse posters, Mickey Mouse phone, Mickey Mouse nick knacks.... everywhere.

As I set my glass of wine down on a Mickey Mouse coaster, I say "so your kids must really love Mickey Mouse." (please make it be the kids, please make it be the kids)  He says "No; Mickey Mouse is my passion".  "Holy FUCK!" I think to myself.   He says he has been into him since he was a kid and it just built as he got older.

So, he pops in the movie and I am thinking, I just need to go, but I didn't.  We sat there the whole movie without him making a single move.  I am thinking, I am just going to go to the bar that Mr. Hot Stuff works at and at least get some mental action.

But no.... I hold steady with my goal.  We pop in another movie.  Now I say "can we turn the lights down"... he turns them down.  I say "no really down".   Lights are almost completely off because I am thinking if I am gonna pull this off there is no way I can do it with 1,000 Mickey Mouse eyes staring at me.

I make the first move with a kiss....  he kisses back.  The kissing was o.k.  He asks me if I wanna go further and I say "YEP" because I am still thinking of Mr. Hot Stuff and I have about a bottle of wine in my stomach.   We go all the way, it sucked.  It really sucked and yes.... he was hung like Mickey Mouse to! :(

So, my advice.  Don't get excited about someone else when you are getting ready to see someone you don't really know if you even like.

I am not sure where we will go from here.  I can say, I don't want to see him again.  Question:  Tell him why?  Ignore Him?  Lie til ya die about why?

Meeting for a Drink, Date Number Three

Round Three!  I am having drinks with one of my foul mouthed girlfriends.  Yes, I am foul mouthed but I had been keeping the sailor at bay around the choir boy.  So, he calls during this drinking ritual we have....  I say that I am busy, she said she wants to meet this character that I have been telling her about.  (The choir boy that hasn't tried anything.)

He comes to this little sports bar we are at.  Friend and I are on our third beer each... he orders a soda.  (Shocking)  My friend has less of a filter on her mouth than I do and she gets worse, as do I, when drinking.  As my friend talks... the choir boy can only set there in amazement as she weaves a web of F-bombs into what would otherwise be a normal conversation.  I can tell he is extremely uncomfortable and he keeps acting like he has got to go.  I offer to walk the choir boy to his car.

I stand at his car in perfectly good position to be kissed and...... NOTHING!  He does plead for me to see him for the holiday.  I explain my commitment to my family and my late husbands family and my daughter.  He is good with it, so we agree to meet sometime between Christmas and the New Year.  I am thinking "is it going to take the pressure of the New Year count down to get this dude to kisses me"?

Movie Date, Second Date

We went to a movie.... First, he didn't even pause by the concession stand.  He breezed right by it.... sure I could have said "halt, I want popcorn" and of course I can buy my own popcorn but what kind of porker do I look like if I get food/snack and he gets nothing.  (Anyone saying who cares... I call bullshit on you.)  

So.... movie sucked but there was this nervous excitement the whole time like what is he gonna do, whats gonna happen.... Let me tell you what happened.  Not a GD thing.  He didn't try to hold my hand, he didn't put his arm around me, nothing.

We leave the movie, he walks me to my car and he acts like he would like to give me a kiss but I feel like, if he can't gather up the nerve to do it, I am not doing it for him.  So no kiss.  Agreed for round three though.  (Which is a personal record since my born again singlehood)

Blind Date - The Set Up

I was set up with this guy.  I met him at a restaurant for a drink and dinner.  (More than one drink for me.)  First impression....  Cute, tall, well dressed and he had all of his hair.  (I like hair.)

We sat down ordered drinks, the conversation went pretty well.  I liked him and then he kind of dropped a bomb on me.  He plays in the church band.... that is o.k. ---- BUT he does it 4 days a week.  WHAT!  I of course I am smiling but I am thinking, 'that is a hell of a lot of church'.  I haven't been to church four times this year.  I have nothing against the Baby Jesus, I love the Baby Jesus but 4 days a week?  No way no how I am ever going to church 4 days a week.

O.K. he is drinking a drink and he said a curse word so I am thinking he might still be able to accept me and my sailor mouth.  If nothing else the holidays are near and I like him enough to see him again.

We split the check, because that is what I do.  (often offends)

Verdict, I like him enough to go for round two.  Round two coming soon.

He Didn't Ask for My Number

I went out tonight, I talked to a guy.... a cute guy, all night.  We really hit it off.  He actually stood there and talked to me for hours.   I am told by all my friends I am too forward so I have been trying to tone it down.  End of the night comes... I say "I gotta go" he says "so good to meet you"  THAT'S IT!!  Really?  That's it?  Yep, he didn't ask for my number but he gave me a hug.  WTF is that about?

Single Again - Why I am here.

I started this blog because I cannot believe how the dating world has changed.  I have been widowed for over two years.  My husband died after eleven years of marriage at the young age of 36. We had a great marriage and I never intended on being single again.

Movies and T.V. make it look like once you are single you just hang a shingle on your front door "open for business" and the dates start rushing in.  I guess that is kind of like on T.V. trials go to court and are decided in the same episode.

I have dated some and this will be a record of the craziness of my journey.  I would like people to also post here.... good stories, bad stories, funny, scary, helpful.... you get the point. 

So grab your girlfriend and when you have a date tell everyone about it.... I have some pretty funny ones I will be sharing.  Some old stories, some new... maybe some borrowed.

This is gonna be fun!