Happy New Year?

I went out with a girlfriend who was in from out of town for New Years Eve.  We started off at a low-key house party.  About 11:30 she said she wanted to go to a bar that I happen to hate. She wanted to go there because a guy that she hooked up with once was going to be there.  

The only thing she could really remember about the guy was his name and that he had on Sponge Bob boxers when they did the deed.  She wanted to kiss someone at mid-night and I couldn't blame her.  I have been un-kissed at mid-night for the last couple years so I was o.k. with helping her satisfy her goal.  We went to the bar.  

The best way to describe this bar is the special Olympics for drinkers.  Every single person in this bar smokes.  No exceptions, they all smoke.  Most of the men have facial hair, flannel shirts and are wearing Wrangler jeans.  The women are wearing stone washed jeans, banana clips and look like 'Sun-In' is their hair product of choice.  These people actually kind of scare me.... so I stick close to my friend.  Mid-night comes, she gets her kiss.  I dance with freaks to typical New Years songs and then we went back to my house.  We set around recounting sad tales from New Years past and we went to bed.

I am o.k. with it....  This is the first year since my husband died that I didn't start the New Year thinking.  "Crap, here we go again".  So I guess that is a good sign.

BTW---

I have successfully been dodging Mickey Mouse.  A.K.A. Choir Boy.  I don't want to speak to him.   I would like to shake him from my brain like you shake a picture from an etch-a-sketch.  I know it is so childish of me not to take his calls but I am not sure what to say to him.  "Hey, that was some of the worst sex ever".  "Hey your House of Mouse creeped me out"!

I Survived Date Number Four in the House of Mouse

Holy Shit!  Set back, call your girlfriend and tell her she has got to read this!  Get a beer or a glass of wine or something because I myself need a drink just recounting it.

First, I decided that maybe the reason the choir boy hasn't tried to kiss me is that he felt there was never a good opportunity.  (I don't know)  So at some point I had asked him if he had seen the movie the "Usual Suspects", he hadn't.  I said you have to see it.  So, for the fourth date/meeting I said how about we pick up some food and watch that movie.    He agrees.  

That was morning.  What happened between morning and the evening is key to understanding my irrational actions later that evening.

I went to get my nails done.  I was setting there telling the nail lady the whole story leading up to tonight.  She insist, I must make the first move.  I put a pin in that thought as Mr. Hot Stuff walks in the room. Mr. Hot Stuff is a young waiter at a bar in town.  Mr. Hot Stuff flirts with everyone without prejudice.  He is 24, talk, dark, handsome and should have to have a license for the guns he's packing.   Anyway he walks in and I say "what are you doing here"?  He said, "I saw your car outside and thought I would come in and say Hi".  WTF!!!!!!  Really.  He knows my car?  He came in to see me?!!?  The blood started flowing to areas that had been on vacation for awhile.  I didn't know what to say, I just made small talk.  I can't even remember what we talked about except......  He said, "what are you doing tonight"? I said, "I have date #4 with a choir boy".  He asked me if this was 'the night' the choir boy would sing the high notes.....  blah blah blah... he left.   I stayed excited thinking about Mr. Hot Stuff all day.

Now time for me to go meet choir boy.   I pick up food, he picks up movie.  I also pick up wine because I am thinking I may need it because my thoughts are not rated PG.

I get to his house.  It smells old and damp.  (Not hot)  I overlook it, my mind is focused and I cannot be detoured.  We eat in the kitchen have some great conversation.  I think, wow... he really is nice.  Then I am back to thinking about Mr. Hot Stuff.

He leads the way to the T.V. room.  As he opens the double doors to the T.V. room I immediately hear screeching horror film music in my head.  (Like when the chick is getting stabbed in the shower in Physco.)

The entire room is decorated in Mickey Mouse,  YES!  Mickey Mouse.  I think "oh my god, he is either gay or a petafile".  Mickey Mouse rug, Mickey Mouse posters, Mickey Mouse phone, Mickey Mouse nick knacks.... everywhere.

As I set my glass of wine down on a Mickey Mouse coaster, I say "so your kids must really love Mickey Mouse." (please make it be the kids, please make it be the kids)  He says "No; Mickey Mouse is my passion".  "Holy FUCK!" I think to myself.   He says he has been into him since he was a kid and it just built as he got older.

So, he pops in the movie and I am thinking, I just need to go, but I didn't.  We sat there the whole movie without him making a single move.  I am thinking, I am just going to go to the bar that Mr. Hot Stuff works at and at least get some mental action.

But no.... I hold steady with my goal.  We pop in another movie.  Now I say "can we turn the lights down"... he turns them down.  I say "no really down".   Lights are almost completely off because I am thinking if I am gonna pull this off there is no way I can do it with 1,000 Mickey Mouse eyes staring at me.

I make the first move with a kiss....  he kisses back.  The kissing was o.k.  He asks me if I wanna go further and I say "YEP" because I am still thinking of Mr. Hot Stuff and I have about a bottle of wine in my stomach.   We go all the way, it sucked.  It really sucked and yes.... he was hung like Mickey Mouse to! :(

So, my advice.  Don't get excited about someone else when you are getting ready to see someone you don't really know if you even like.

I am not sure where we will go from here.  I can say, I don't want to see him again.  Question:  Tell him why?  Ignore Him?  Lie til ya die about why?